White Side Black Side
ate dirt tuesday
it was always tuesday
noise
floor
turned off my head
sea cuke
barbiturates on a bedside table i
smiled my buckle broke
white side to the black side inside no fire
five six you weren't worth it
fucked up tricks pick up sticks
comfort didn't win a war
kissing didn't wreck a bank
slipping in through the back door
he repeated
watch the tickclocktockticktock til the
knockringknockknock
who's there?
tomorrowing
i lost nights in shallow waters
boxed knights in small quarters
work will become a dream
when you cease to be a queen
11 December 2008
new
if you want to see me try, you know i will
you know if i want it, i want it for you
if you want to see me cry, you know i will
you know if i need it, i need it for glue
if you look me in the eye, you know i kill
you know if i see it, i will always be new
you know if i want it, i want it for you
if you want to see me cry, you know i will
you know if i need it, i need it for glue
if you look me in the eye, you know i kill
you know if i see it, i will always be new
13 May 2008
over it & under it, neither are true
i just keep freezing!
i've never been this "over it." the more i realize how much i'd rather be under it - to have some shelter, (an awning, green and striped, that sounds like a cat's claws on tile when the rain hits it. to protect from the storm and block out the sun.
there are certain things i should scare from. one of them, my dear, should be trying to get as far away from this as i can.
more than anything in the world, i'm scared of abandoning myself.
what am i thinking? what am i doing? what are the odds that i'm just lying to myself, anyway?
sometimes, i work and work to develop discipline. then the discipline becomes a curse, so i act as though i don't care about it. then the apathy becomes a reality, and i become unaffected by strength or integrity.
the cycle ends with a pat on a back from those i love, for being smart and responsible (it is nuts), and then i stop respecting the ones i love (and who seem to love me back) because they weren't smart enough to see through my dumb guise.
i must be really bored. this reminds me of snood.
...if snood made me puke!
i've never been this "over it." the more i realize how much i'd rather be under it - to have some shelter, (an awning, green and striped, that sounds like a cat's claws on tile when the rain hits it. to protect from the storm and block out the sun.
there are certain things i should scare from. one of them, my dear, should be trying to get as far away from this as i can.
more than anything in the world, i'm scared of abandoning myself.
what am i thinking? what am i doing? what are the odds that i'm just lying to myself, anyway?
sometimes, i work and work to develop discipline. then the discipline becomes a curse, so i act as though i don't care about it. then the apathy becomes a reality, and i become unaffected by strength or integrity.
the cycle ends with a pat on a back from those i love, for being smart and responsible (it is nuts), and then i stop respecting the ones i love (and who seem to love me back) because they weren't smart enough to see through my dumb guise.
i must be really bored. this reminds me of snood.
...if snood made me puke!
10 April 2008
not quite the still of the night - 01/08/08
not quite the still of the night,
at a vacant engagement,
i drank a gin and tonic
and hit the noise floor.
in not quite the dark,
in my own heavy closet,
i did nothing not enough
and wrapped my brain in fur.
when not quite a phone rang,
in an empty calorie kitchen,
i stuffed some icing in my pocket
and sold my soul to her.
at a vacant engagement,
i drank a gin and tonic
and hit the noise floor.
in not quite the dark,
in my own heavy closet,
i did nothing not enough
and wrapped my brain in fur.
when not quite a phone rang,
in an empty calorie kitchen,
i stuffed some icing in my pocket
and sold my soul to her.
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