If You Don't Want To Know, I Don't Want To Tell You

time is closing in & tightly gripping my waist
it's similar to living in a vice:
i know i know i want this i want this buy but why why why can't i let myself have it the
double edged masochism will hold you at the throat of those who said they loved you though
they'll shoo you away and you'll try to convince yourself that it's appropriate to settle for less and
you love hating yourself ; you don't want to make it better so you love breaking yourself but
you manage to hold together so you cut off all your hair and cry because it's gone and
promise that maybe you'll let it grow this time

hold it up build it up break it down break it off become someone else-
someone with a brain and a heart and-
someone who can get herself where she needs to go and-
someone people like and- someone people trust and-
someone who can provide for herself and-
someone who can be loved and-
promise me NEVER EVER you'll say that it was JUST BECAUSE
you said the & the fire & the books in shelves in the window and
the cars that fell into the holes in the street right where from the start
& don't hurt yourself but & hurt others in the pr&c&ss and pr&m&s& &t w&ll t&rn &&t j*st *s pl&nn&d



02.09.05 AM